Suicide Squad Review.....
SPOILERS..........OBVIOUSLY.
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
If you don't want to read this whole thing, here are snippets of my thoughts during the movie:
"...soo who are these characters? I don't care about them....this is anti-climactic....wait? Common?.....Has Harley always had a Jersey Shore accent? .....Joker's in a pimp suit?.....these action scenes are boring.....Joker's in this movie for 15 minutes....I wasted my money....did they just play Seven Nation Army?....okay is this movie done? .....okay we're done.....Is that the Tip Drill Video???" END.
Alright, let's get started. Our first character we meet is none other than Will Smith. I'm sure that was part of his contract. There is no such thing as a movie with Will Smith as a supporting character. This movie will open, close, and center around Will. He's in his cell punching his lil bag or whatever getting ready to trade banter with none other than Dumb Nurse from Mindy Project. Homeboy is funnier on the Mindy Project than this movie there are clearly lines that are supposed to be funny...but they're not. They are cheesy. We start to meet the other characters and end up with "big bad Viola Davis" who is much more intimidating in How to Get Away with Murder than this nonsense. Clearly her intro scene is the build up to the title scene which I was supposed to be excited about, but was not. You know how the music and scenes you are watching are building up to the big "HERE IS THE TITLE OF THE MOVIE YEAAHHHHHH" part....you don't get that.
*We're 10 minutes in now* My biggest issue with this film is that it felt like it was created by a bunch of college students doing a film project for their advanced class. It was SOOOO jumpy, choppy, and sped up. It was sooo sloppy. The music was chosen by a group of high school students who pulled up their Itunes playlist and said "yea this song would be cool here" Without Me, Seven Nation Army, Kanye Blackskin....you get the point. Clearly, this movie was supposed to be way longer than it was and the editors did a terrible job trying to condense the film. I would have rather seen the extended version and get the whole story than this rushed BS. We have Viola Davis (who walks around with dollar store binders with the words TOP SECRET all over them) telling the government that "I got a plan to take on the terrorists ya'll."
Let's enter our next half hour with backstories for only a few characters that are in depth, but not in-depth enough for you to have any connection with any character. You only relate to Will Smith...cause he's Will Smith and has your typical "I'm a good dad who does bad things" backstory (same with Diablo). Viola Davis has bombs in Suicide Squads' heads which are how she controls them...we know this because she kills Slipknot. Yea he's dead...beginning of the movie.
Fast forward to the actual plot of the movie. Viola Davis who says "we gotta make this squad take on the terrorist yall" is the one who ends up letting out this Evil Witch Chick who ends up being our main villain for the movie. That's right ya'll this movie is about Enchantress. NOT THE JOKER. The Joker is in this movie for a total of 20 minutes...Joker notes at the end. Now, that you know what this movie will be about I will take the liberty of renaming this movie.
Welcome to: Enchantress VS Will Smith n' em.
SO, Enchantress steals her heart back from Viola Davis who was keeping it to control her and kills her....kinda. She gets her evil brother demon who she releases and they decide to destroy the Earth. The Suicide Squad team has to battle these monster things that Enchantress Witch makes. It says you can't shoot them...but all they do is shoot them. The fight scenes were terrible, it was too dark, too rushed. I was not surprised when the helicopter crashed to the ground. I did not care if anyone did not survive. They tried to show Croc with his badassery fighting skills, but he literally picks a guy up and slams him down from 1ft in the air...all while yelling and making it seem like a big deal and it was not. The distraction plot was the Joker coming to save his boo Harley....that ish lasts like 10 minutes cause his plane crashes and then he's gone for the rest of the movie. Harley did what she could to be a good character....she was just naked and annoying with a weird Boston accent. She had no real dialogue....just one-liners.
OH btw after we build this team and get them together we are randomly joined by Kitana...and this team is led by Rick Flagg who is in love Dr. Moone who's body is inhabited by this Witch.....K. Bye.
In the fight scenes, Diablo being a lil punk and not wanting to fight because he's all "peace on Earth" and "you don't know what I can do I killed my family." There is a scene where Will Smith is trying to rile Diablo up with a ridiculous "stop touching me, I'm touchinngg you, stop touching me, I'm touching youuu, you wanna see what I can do, YEA I wanna see it." -_______-
Suicide Squad finds this TOP SECRET binder and realize that the actual story with this Witch girl that they have to defeat. They get upset with this plot (just like everyone in the theater) and decide to walk out. We have some real dialogue in their bar scene, but that doesn't last long. Rick Flagg is all "ya'll can quit we're done with this....OHH yea Will Smith your daughter writes you every day and I happen to have the letters with me." Which for some reason gets Will riled up enough to decide to fight this chick.
The team comes back together to fight homegirl. They don't fight as a team at all. The solution is we're gonna put a bomb underneath you and blow you up....okay. I wanted Diablo to like light a boomerang on fire and use that. Harley tricks the Witch into getting close enough to her and a sword...so she stabs her (they gave up on the plot at this point)....Crocodile throws a bomb into the portal thing, and Deadshot shoots it....boom. Crises averted.
Viola Davis is somehow still alive in this movie and controlling Suicide Squad with her whole "I gotta bomb in your head" nonsense. She tells them to give me your special requests (I wanna see my daughter, I want an espresso machine, BET) and I took ten years off your sentence. Get your ass back in jail....The movie ends with the Joker being alive and breaking Harley out of the prison... THE END. That's it. That's what you get. Don't waste your time. If they re-released the movie with the original cuts...I would see it. Other than that....NO.
*Notes about the Joker*
He was pointless in this movie. Waste of time. Apparently, a lot of his scenes were cut. He's doing this whole Thug Life/Scarface thing with his pimp suits and his goons and his gold teeth...ugh. Jared Leto was a good Joker, but he was a waste in this movie.
comment your thoughts, reactions, ideas. When does the sequel come out?